Coping and support

No one expects to have a baby with a birth defect. When the excitement of new life is met with the stress of discovering that your baby has a cleft lip or cleft palate, the experience can be emotionally demanding for the entire family.

For parents and family

When welcoming a baby with cleft lip and cleft palate into your family, keep these coping tips in mind:

• Don't blame yourself. Focus your energy on supporting and helping your child.
• Acknowledge your emotions. It's completely normal to feel sad, overwhelmed and upset.
• Find support. Your hospital social worker can help you find community and financial resources and education.

For your child

You can support your child in many ways:

• Focus on your child as a person, not on the cleft.
• Point out positive qualities in others that don't involve physical appearance.
• Help your child gain confidence by allowing him or her to make decisions.
• Encourage confident body language, such as smiling and holding the head up with shoulders back.
• Keep the lines of communication open. If teasing or self-esteem issues arise at school, this can help your child feel safe in talking with you about it, so you can help address these issues.